Friday, March 1, 2019

Stop and smell the roses

This week could have gone one of two ways, feel completely sorry for myself or take advantage of some down time. Monday started out like any other day..get kiddo to school, pick up around the house etc. Then at 4 pm my normal Monday turned to complete junk. I was walking down our stairs and all of a sudden I missed a step and landed on our hardwood floor. Oh my gosh, I have never fallen down stairs...it completely took me by surprise. I soon realized I had hurt my ankle ( could have been a heck of a lot worse). All I kept thinking to myself in the moment was "NOOOO, I have so many other issues physically going on right now"..Thank goodness my husband was home, which is very rare at this time of day.

Let me give you a bit of background on me. I am a complete schedule girl, pretty much everyday is planned out per week. I am also very meticulous about our home, I like everything neat and tidy. It's become even more prevalent since I became ill. I think I keep everything organized and well kept just in case my illness becomes particularly bad and I am out of commission for a few days.

When I woke up on Tuesday I thought, I have one of two choices, be completely angry and feel sorry for myself or take these days and take advantage of not being able to move. Like many of us dizzys, we still have to move on and get through our days of work, chores, taking care of the kiddos etc.. But since I was completely immobile and my injury was obvious to others, I could take advantage. Yes, its frustrating to not be able to walk more than a couple steps, but I can do things that I normally would NEVER do without feeling guilty.

I drank more than one yummy coffee, I read books that I normally would never, I watched documentaries, I wrote in my journal, I sat and watched the birds fly around our outside family room window, I sat and watched my son do his homework, I listened to classical guitar (which is odd for me) and I loved it. I lived in the present....I stopped and smelled the roses!! What was particularly nice is I turned off my illness for a bit..I  realized just how much energy and time this illness takes from me each day and to have to sit and not focus on it was completely refreshing.

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