Thursday, January 24, 2019

To be young again

 Gosh, remember the days of not having a care in the world? Actually, I take that back..I cared about my my cabbage patch doll, my big wheel, my florescent light up hot pink phone. Wow, those were such simpler times. Ever since this illness began I often find myself daydreaming about my childhood. I was extremely blessed to be given the best parents in the world and a fun, caring brother ( I didn't think this of my brother when I was real young) but today we are best friends. I sometimes long for those days when my biggest worry was, I wanted to make sure I got home in time from school to play outside. And it was always warm and sunny in my early memories.  It kind of made me sad...Why am I sick now? Why can't I let these worries go? How long is this illness going to be with me? But then, I look into my sons eyes and I realize this is his innocent time..These right now are his early memories that he will always look back on. Yes, there are days I can't get out of bed, or days I can't make dinner, but I will tell you, this damn disease will never keep me from making wonderful memories for my son. I have learned to be honest with him throughout this journey, and I think it has helped him not worry about his Mom so much. We laugh each day together, we dance each day together and each day I tell him how much I love him. And for that, it makes my today pretty darn special. I am blessed to have this kiddo and this disease will never change that.

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