Sunday, January 6, 2019


New normal!! I didn't want a new normal. I think the most difficult part of this disease was wanting the "old me" back. Wanting to wake up happy, not worried about what this long dreaded day had in store.  Wanting to look forward to going to sleep at night in my cuddly bed, rather than dreading bed time because I knew the next morning was going to be a repeat of today.Wanting my son to see me as the happy Mom dancing in the living room, rather than laying in bed. Wanting my husband not to worry if his wife was ever going to be the same again, rather than being completely spontaneous and happy together. NOOOO, I did not want this. How was I ever going to laugh again or look forward to the days to come...???
I am here to tell you that the new you can be just as happy as the old you. It definitely takes some inner strength and a tad bit of courage, but if I can do it, so can you.
I think the day I finally accepted the new me, life began to become a little more bright.
I also had to take solace in the fact that I am not alone, difficult experiences and illnesses are present in the lives of all humans. I was not alone!!
Instead of reacting to unpleasant physical ailments and sensations, I moved my mind toward a state of acceptance and kindness towards this disease. It was a new part of me and if it was going to be my new roommate, we needed to get along and work together.
Also knowing that this disease is as unpredictable as the weather and can change at any time. "the wind blew this discomfort in and it may blow it out at any moment" {How to be sick by Toni Bernhard}

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