Sunday, January 20, 2019

Dizzy Monster

It’s 6:00 pm on Sunday evening. I am supposed to be downstairs with my family watching the Chiefs vs  Patriots football game…. But no, I am upstairs laying in bed. I can hear the roar of the game echoing through the house., this sucks!! This illness had other plans for me this evening. You never, ever know when this illness is going to pop up and say hello. Such a rude way to say hello.
I was trying to get dinner prepared when out of the blue, the items in the fridge started to sway and floor beneath me felt it was moving . My legs instantly became weak, my heart began to pound and I fell into a cold sweat. What the heck was this?? I don’t have time for this right now!! This is something I say a lot.  I told myself to try and not panic, think about what I have learned the past few years. As I was thinking this, I told my boys I am going to head to bed. This is where I had a decision to make, I could go freak out in my bed by myself or I could take all the lessons I have learned in my weekly therapy appointments and put them to work. This is exactly what I did.
I decided to get into my comfy bed and begin to write. If this had happened last year, I would have been in a dizzy panic for days. Instead I told myself lets go relax and write this all out. This unpredictable illness is not going to win, we are going to win together!!!! What do I mean?!?!  My therapist advised me to look at my illness as a type of cartoon monster. Sounds kind of strange, right? That’s what I originally thought too. But, If you can put a cute face to it, rather than some horrible scary, unknown illness it really helps. And when the dizzy monster knocks on my door I let it in, rather than slam the door shut. Accepting the cute monster makes it easier to accept. I ask myself, what is the monster here to tell me? Am I tired? Am I stressed? Have I eaten the wrong foods today etc? This is what I have learned in time. And believe me, accepting this has taken many years  but it has been the best advise thus far. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE MONSTER MAY SHOW UP, BUT THE WAY YOU WELCOME IT COULD MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

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